Addressing the Frustrating Myths About Grief

By Alisa O’Neill

It is not uncommon for grievers to hear myths about grief. As a griever you might have heard things like:

“It’s been a few years, why are you still sad?”

Grief can come in waves, and certain things can trigger some emotions for you — and that is okay! This does not mean anything is wrong.  Feelings are just information of a reaction to our 5 senses, and it is important to express those feelings in a healthy way. Talking it out to someone you trust, giving yourself the space to express your emotions without judgment, or other creative ways to express yourself. The important this is to express your feelings.

“You don’t seem like you are grieving since I don’t see you crying”

There is no right or wrong way to grieve; some people are more expressive with their emotions when dealing with grief and loss, and others might express their grief differently. One might like to show that they miss their loved one by making their loved one’s favorite food on their birthday while another might make a scholarship in their loved one’s name to a cause that was important to them. Either of these is fine! Your reaction and expression to a loss are your own, and no one can tell you how you should deal with something that is personal to you.

“Grieving will eventually come to an end”

Grief has no expiration date, and like the quote from Queen Elizabeth II states, “grief is the price we pay for love” Love is everlasting, and even if we are experiencing a loss, we still miss our loved ones and miss how things used to be. Grief is a universal journey that affects people differently, and though it does not go away, we adapt and grow with it.

We understand that hearing these things can be exceedingly hurtful especially while dealing with a loss because it minimizes your feelings and experiences. The important thing to mention is that your grief is just that-YOUR grief. No one else can ever tell you have to grieve a loss whether it is a loved one who was killed in a crash, or if you or someone was injured. Your feelings are valid! MADD Victim services wanted to address the myths around grief because no one should ever feel shame around grieving someone or something. For additional support please connect with our Victim Services Team.

For additional resources:

Common Myths & Facts About Grief

10 Common Myths About Grief