How to Talk to Your Teen About Alcohol and Cannabis Use
Being a parent is intensely rewarding, but also deeply challenging. Despite a common misconception that as children enter high school their friends become all-important and parental influence weakens. 74% of teens say their parents are the biggest influence on whether they choose to drink alcohol. Further, our research shows that parents ARE motivated to talk with their children and teens, ARE willing to learn new ways to reach out to their teens and DO make a difference when it comes to reducing risky adolescent behavior.
Too many teens die or suffer life-altering consequences from drinking alcohol underage. Studies show that 1 in 3 teens combine alcohol use with other drugs (e.g., cannabis, nicotine and other stimulants) and experience 2 to 3 times more consequences on those occasions. All of these harms and tragedies are 100% preventable.
Fortunately, as a parent—you are a “changer”—you have the POWER to change the way your child thinks about alcohol and other drugs. You can improve your parenting and communication style. You can even change your child’s future.
Start by Asking Permission
Open with respect: “There’s something important on my mind—could we talk for a few minutes?” Choose calm moments and minimize distractions. This shifts the tone from lecture to collaboration and makes it more likely your teen will stay in the conversation.
Use How/What/Why Questions
Open‑ended questions turn you into a thinking coach. Try: “How would you handle an invite where there might be older kids?” “What could you say if someone pushes a drink?” “Why might a choice tonight make next week harder?” When teens generate their own plans, they’re rehearsing for the real thing.
Normalize Pushback—and Lower Defenses
Expect objections: fear of a lecture, worries about punishment, “you don’t trust me,” or “I already know this.” Meet each gently: “You’re right, I’ll listen this time.” “This is about being on the same page, not catching you.” “We won’t decide anything right now.” “Help me understand what it’s like today.” Calm communication keeps the door open for understanding.
Share the Facts That Matter
Underage drinking is illegal and can trigger real consequences—license issues, school or sports trouble, legal costs. Physically, alcohol impairs judgment, coordination, and reaction time from the first drink—and teens absorb it faster than adults. Socially, adolescent drinkers perform worse in school, are more likely to fall behind and have an increased risk of social problems, depression, suicidal thoughts, and violence. Use simple, accurate language tied to your teen’s goals (driving liberties, sports involvement, academic performance, college applications).
Make High‑Quality Agreements
Write down clear expectations: no alcohol before 21; no other substance use; no impaired driving; never ride with someone who has been drinking or using other drugs. Agree on known, proportional consequences in advance like curfew changes, car access, or screen limits, and revisit them periodically. When rules are broken, follow the plan: pause if emotions run high, then enforce calmly when a conversation can be had.
The “Call Me Anytime” Policy
Offering a ride doesn’t mean you allow alcohol or other drug use; it prioritizes safety. Get them home calmly; discuss consequences later as agreed. Teens are far more likely to reach out when they trust you won’t explode on the way home.
Bust Common Assumptions
Parents sometimes think, “My kid isn’t interested,” “Their friends are good kids,” or “School covered this.” Peers change, and health classes can’t personalize every risk. Teens make assumptions too—“nothing bad will happen to me,” or “everyone does it.” Your conversations replace common myths or misunderstandings with clear expectations and plans.
Talk About Binge Drinking
Teens drink differently than adults—less often, but in larger bursts. That multiplies danger: alcohol poisoning, blackouts, and high‑risk decisions. Teach warning signs and exit strategies (“I’m out—early game”). Also debunk the “sober fast” myth: coffee, showers, and food don’t speed the liver. Only time does—and no one should drive or ride with someone impaired while waiting it out.
Close the Loop Tonight
Ask one how/what/why question about the upcoming weekend, update your agreements and consequences, and save the “call me anytime” message in both your phones. You’ve just turned a hard topic into a safety plan.
Talking with your children and teens about alcohol, other drugs, and safety can feel challenging—but it matters more than you think. Power of Parents, a program from Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), equips parents and caregivers with practical tools, conversation starters, and evidence-based guidance to help prevent underage drinking and impaired driving.
Visit madd.org/power-of-parents to explore helpful tips, free resources, and proven strategies to start meaningful conversations that can save lives.
